Falun Gong Cult

Falun Gong Cult: Dial 0800 ‘DISTANCE’! 

Falun Gong Cult
A Channelling Caught Under Scientific Conditions!

Li Hongzhi – that man of mystery who lies at the elusive heart of the worldwide Falun Gong Cult movement – become rather fond of Covid-19 ‘lockdowns’ and the financial returns such a mass fear of the unknown can stoke throughout a society! Indeed, the coffers of the Falun Gong Cult swelled considerably between 2020-2022 like at no other time in its history, and yet coupled with this illness-driven prosperity the Falun Gong Cult saw a reduction in its own corporate expenses and requirement for sheer physical labour drop to a virtual ‘zero’!  

Li Hongzhi even started issuing online lectures (usually through proxy teachers) of himself being ‘channelled’ – even though everyone knew he was still physically alive! No other religious or New Age group has ever attempted to successfully ‘sell’ the idea that an already living human-being can still be ‘channelled’ into the mind and body of another living human-being – as if one mobile ‘phone was ringing another – and yet the Falun Gong Cult has done just that!  

This new development allows a rapidly ageing (and often seriously ‘ill’) Li Hongzhi to appear as robust and apparently living beyond the grip of physical laws he has always claimed his ability to be able to do – despite the sad truth being that as he ages – old father time has already claimed (often quite publicly) the lives of many of his former ‘lieutenant’, a situation that has seen the undoing of many similar organisations all striving to shift ‘product’ in the already crowded ‘self-help’ market-place! Not so the Falun Gong Cult – being as it is an important plank in capitalist America’s anti-China policy. 

Channelers of Li Hongzhi – or ‘light-workers’ in the parlance of the industry – are sent to a very vigorous ‘Fame’ school in LA, where they are taught all the tricks of trade – often under the watchful eye of the CIA, FBI and NSA, etc, and quite often representatives of the US Navy – an institute that is still smarting from the successful 1970s ‘Psy-Ops’ (KGB) campaign which saw high-ranking individuals seemingly (and unknowingly) associate the US Navy’s ‘image’ with that of the openly ‘gay’ Pop group – YMCA! Indeed, part of the reason the US government pursues the line it does with China is to seek revenge for what is viewed by many in the West as this ‘Communist’ outrage! 

Oddly enough, ‘obscurity’ is all the rage at this present time in the New Age industry – the motto of which is ‘If You Ain’t Spending – We Ain’t Bending’ (or in its Latin form ‘Non Habe – Nos Non Flectere!’) – apparently an obscure reference to the antics of the Zionist-supporting Uri Geller and his 1970’s ‘spoon-bending’ antics (long since exposed as a fraud)! In the spirit of this ‘obscurity’ – the ‘channelers’ of Li Hongzhi fall-back onto that old staple of the genre of assuming he is talking from ‘Venus’ – quite often in a ‘high-pitched’ or ‘squeaky’ voice! Studies have shown in the US that there is a link between ‘high pitched’ voices and ‘increased’ spending! 

In an attempt to inject some humour into Falun Gong Cult activities (which, let’s face it, often look more like Nazi-Occupied parts of Europe during the early 1940s – rather than populations of the ‘joyfully liberated’) – this new generation of channelers are trained to open-up proceedings with a witty exchange (or ‘repartee’) to warm-up the crowd – one which often unfolds something like this:  

Question: ‘Li Hongzhi – are you there?’ 

Answer: ‘Yes!’ 

Follow-up Question: ‘Are you alive?’ 

Follow-up Answer – and Delivery of Punchline: ‘Yes – are you?’ 

Of course, experiments in ‘humour’ of this nature could prove highly successful – or be the equivalent of pouring arsenic in the soup as a means to improve its flavour! Will it work? Will it fail? Does it matter? With the US government bankrolling Li Hongzhi’s every move (or ‘non-movement’ in this case) how can it fail? Li Hongzhi does not have to ‘prove’ anything – he merely needs to appear to always be there (never ageing) – and like a lighthouse perched on a lonely rock somewhere – always broadcasting the same ‘bright-light’ of his anti-China message!