Buckingham Palace Thrown into Turmoil as Queen Forced to ‘Cancel’ Special Telegram!

Page-Boy ‘Allowed’ To Touch ‘Special Telegram’ Before Euthonisation!

In a bid to prove that the British royal family are ‘no different’ to the tens of millions of ordinary British people (who sustain their lavish lifestyle through taxation) – the Queen has announced that she has had to ‘cancel’ the planned ‘surprise’ ‘100-years-old’ telegram she traditionally sends to those elderly people who live to their one-hundredth birthday! The telegram in question, however, was to be just a little bit more special – as it was intended for her husband – the ‘Queen’s Consort – Prince Philip’! The Queen intended to convey this royal missive via a set of page-boys who were being trained (just prior to the time of writing) – to walk in a synchronised ‘slow-step’ familiar to the Prince from his goose-stepping time spent in the Hitler Youth Movement – carrying the all-important document carefully hidden between the pages of the Mail of Sunday – which was to run an exclusive article entitled ‘Top Ten Times Prince Philip was ‘Surprised’ by Black People!’ This entire ensemble was to be lodged between the Prince’s boiled-egg and soldiers (thin strips of buttered bread). As the Prince has demonstrated his usual penchant for ‘bad timing’ – and passed away at just 99-years-old – the Queen has had to humanely euphonise the page-boys and have the ‘special telegram’ stored in a suitable (and out of the way) crypt somewhere in the depths underlying Wester Minster Abbey.  

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