The Office of the 14th Dalai Lama has issued a strongly worded “denial” through its Mongolian branch denying rumours said to have originated from the Trump Administration – which state the exiled Buddhist monk has ordered the founding of a new propaganda outlet for his cause named the “Daily Lama” (originally the “Daili Lama” a play on his title of the “Dalai Lama”) – which will be partly hosted and funded by the anti-China Al Jazeera News Agency (based in Qatar). In a recent interview on this matter, His Holiness stated,
“Tibet and Israel share a common spiritual boundary which needs protecting with the threat of extreme violence to deter infringements and negative reporting.”
When asked how this attitude aligns with his monastic vows as a Buddhist monk, the confused saffron pontiff clarified,
“Within Tantric Buddhism every vow is immediately negated by it’s opposite – as two-sides make a whole. Therefore, when I support extreme violence in the physical world – I am also demanding extreme peace in the spiritual world.” A Xinhua reporter then asked about his public display of amorous behaviour with young boys in public, and the Holy One opined,” This is a very good question and I am glad you raised it. Peace to you and your family. Yes, it can seem odd and strange to see man-boy love unfold in public – but if you examine Tantric texts and iconography – it is common to encounter every kind of sexual expression. Afterall, I am a Tantric leader and not a member of those sects of Buddhism which take vows seriously, or follow vows in a one-sided sense. All my interactions with young children arise from their adult parents who think they are gaining a karmic boost for free by navigating their children towards me. In reality it is I who am the victim in this situation.”
(The Dalai Lama then immediately sacked the bodyguard who allowed a Xinhua reporter within 50 feet of his podium).
The next question was raised by a French reporter regarding the Epstein Files.
“I understand your attachment and obsession with this matter as it is a fetish in your culture. Jeffrey was a man of many attributes. Obviously, I cannot speak for what he may – or may not have done – or the $1 million I once charged for a fee. What can I say, is that I’m popular amongst the Zionists and they like to pass me around like a curiosity. It’s all part of the common border shared by Tibet and Israel.”
The Dalai Lama was then rushed away to bless a nearby golf course by his CIA bodyguards.
Although the Dalai Lama does not claim to be an expert player – he developed a deep-love for golf after watching a seal-hunting video and became familiar with the routine practice of clubbing baby seals to death.
“Yes – I understand the shock at first seeing this event – but after 50 or 60 times the novelty soon wears off. It’s abit like the casualty lists inflicted by Israel – the Western media soon grows bored of reporting it and the world moves on. A club is a club – if you know what I mean. That line went down well when I lectured at Harvard. Either way, from a karmic perspective, seals bring it on themselves because they were all Chinese in a previous life. The Israelis say similar things about their victims – so it’s all good as the Americans say.”
SANGHA KOMMUNE (SSR) 