The Black Sewer Pigs of Hampstead! (5.6.2023) 

We were told that the area is currently in mourning due to a local’s body being found partially devoured in the nearby sewer system. ‘It was the Black Pigs wot done which live down the Sewers’ – we were told. The plan to have all the latrines feeding into the sewers was thought a security risk for the nation. In light of this interpretation the Whigs have been putting about the hysterical idea that Napoleonic Socialism is ‘seeping’ out of Western France and into the English Channel – where it enters the English sewer system (travelling up the pipes) into the domestic and public latrines! From here, it is a simple matter of this foreign ideology entering the unsuspecting human body via the ‘back passage’ – thus converting England into a French colony! As anyone who agrees with this process – is agreeing with ‘back passage violation’ – then, such people are declared to be ‘paedophiles’ and ‘sexual deviants’! Obviously, the Whigs are whipping up the ignorance of working-class sentiment and encouraging those who can draw to set about unsuspecting individuals (who think latrines are a good idea) and make charcoal ‘likenesses’ which are then affixed to public spaces – as a means to induce a sense of ‘shame’ in said individuals!