Satire – Humour – Irony – Page 13

Trump’s TRUTH Social Platform! (23.4.2023)

23/03/2023 Adrian (釋大道)

Lunatics like Trump would quite happily nuclear-bomb Beijing if he thought he could get away with it. Where he differs from the US Establishment that created him, is that the American Bourgeoisie would like to preserve a trading status quo that it controls – keeping ‘direct’ military confrontation to a minimum – for now (a question of differing ‘styles’ whilst maintaining exactly the same ‘content’). Indirect military confrontation is another matter, as the US support for Neo-Nazism in the Ukraine is as much a proxy war against China as it is against Russia! And then there is the ‘porn star’ allegation – a rather pathetic attempt by the US Establishment at keeping a very popular Trump out of Office. If ‘morality’ really was an issue, most US Presidents would be languishing in prison for their ‘War Crimes’ and ‘Crimes Against Humanity’ – sharing cells with Israeli leaders and perpetuators! Barack Obama, of course, would be on ‘Death Row’ for his military and political support of a Neo-Nazi take-over of Ukraine in 2014 – overhrowing the left-leaning (and democratically elected) legitimate government of Ukraine – and for leading Canada and the Ukraine not long after in ‘rejecting’ a UN Resolution designed to criminalise the ‘glorification’ of Neo-Nazism! All of a sudden, Trump paying a pornstar $130,000 for a sexual encounter seems positively ‘honest’ by comparison – particularly when said porn star looks very similar to Trump’s ex-wife!

Trump in ‘Sticky’ Position Over ‘Leaks’ Emanating from Porn-Star Associate! (19.3.2023)

19/03/2023 Adrian (釋大道)

The Manhattan District Attorney’s Office is reportedly investigating whether Trump falsified business records in connection with an alleged hush-money payment made to an adult film star during the 2016 presidential campaign.

Trump’s lawyer has said he has no plans to participate in the probe, and the Republican, who served as U.S. president from January 2017 to January 2021, has denounced the investigation as a witch hunt.

Falun Gong Cult: Dial 0800 ‘DISTANCE’!

18/03/2023 Adrian (釋大道)

In an attempt to inject some humour into Falun Gong Cult activities (which, let’s face it, often look more like Nazi-Occupied parts of Europe during the early 1940s – rather than populations of the ‘joyfully liberated’) – this new generation of channelers are trained to open-up proceedings with a witty exchange (or ‘repartee’) to warm-up the crowd – one which often unfolds something like this:

Question: ‘Li Hongzhi – are you there?’

Answer: ‘Yes!’

Follow-up Question: ‘Are you alive?’

Follow-up Answer – and Delivery of Punchline: ‘Yes – are you?’

Of course, experiments in ‘humour’ of this nature could prove highly successful – or be the equivalent of pouring arsenic in the soup as a means to improve its flavour! Will it work? Will it fail? Does it matter? With the US government bankrolling Li Hongzhi’s every move (or ‘non-movement’ in this case) how can it fail? Li Hongzhi does not have to ‘prove’ anything – he merely needs to appear to always be there (never ageing) – and like a lighthouse perched on a lonely rock somewhere – always broadcasting the same ‘bright-light’ of his anti-China message!

The Dangers of Extreme Yoga – the Joshua Maddux Story! (17.3.2023)

17/03/2023 Adrian (釋大道)

All this misdirection impressed Joshua Maddux and he became susceptible to the suggestions of Andrew – who had the bizarre idea of Joshua Maddux assuming Yogic postures hanging upside down (like a ‘bat’) whilst secreting himself in a nearby chimney-stack! The idea of this was activity was to link an aggressive internet advertising campaign associated with Meatloaf’s ‘Bat Out of Hell’ – whilst dressed in a ‘Batman’ outfit!

According to rumours, Andrew administered a ‘relaxing’ injection to Joshua – who could then fit easily up the desired chimney-stack – but Andrew gat the dose incorrect and the although Joshua had assumed the right position – he had not yet doned the ‘Batman’ outfit and Andrew had not yet set-up the camera and sound system designed to blast-out Meatloaf’s masterpiece! Joshua’s body re-assumed its natural muscular tension too early and despite his best efforts – Andrew could not pull his friend from the Chimney! Andrew quickly placed the breakfast bar over the entrance of the fire-place as a means to ‘stop the cold wind’ blowing through the passage – and disappeard into the night!

Joshua Maddux and the Dangers of Extreme Chimney Sweeping! (16.3.2023)

16/03/2023 Adrian (釋大道)

This is the really clever bit. Anthony suggested that Joshua could make a huge Internet statement if he combined ‘extreme chimney sweeping’ with the unpopular activity of ‘blacking up’ (this was in 2008)! Black people would not mind, Anthony reassured, as they would think he was Black and merely being oppressed by the White man! After stripping naked and inserting himself up the chimney feet-first, he could cover himself in soot, clean the chimney and simultaneously sing ‘Mammy’ whilst hanging upside down and strumming a Ukulele! Anthony would film the entire affair and Joshua would become an overnight sensation on YouTube! From what I can gather, Joshua turned up a few days earlier for a dress rehearsal without his Ukulele – just to run through the dynamics of the planned procedure – but things did not go to plan, and he got ‘stuck’ up the chimney! Two days later Anthony showed up as planed with a camera and was stunned to find his friend already inserted up the chimney and dead from hypothermia! Obviously, Anthony panicked and pulled the breakfast bar from the crumbling (adjacent) wall and covered the entrance to the fireplace in an attempt to produce an ad hoc sense of ‘sanctity’ – and to stop the raccoons from nibbling upon the extremities of his friend’s remains! Following this rushed attempt of an entombment – Anthony Newman fled to New Mexico where he encountered a copy of Adolf Hitler’s book Mein Kampf – and embarked upon a career of murdering disabled people and raping young women! Meanwhile, the ‘mummified’ body of Joshua Maddux was not found for another seven years (during 2015) – when the building was being demolished to make way for a Ukulele School!

Russia: The Enigma of the Asiatic Giant Shigir Idol (Большой Шигирский идол) – Where Ancient Russians Really Seventeen-Feet Tall? (12.3.2023)

12/03/2023 Adrian (釋大道)

I have heard a number of Slavic academics stating that they believe that some of the patterning on the exterior of the Great Shigir Idol constitutes a written ‘language’. If correct, this finding would constitute the world’s ‘oldest’ written language! I am not adverse to this idea and I believe such a suggestion requires further investigation! Based upon the mythology of the Ugrians, Natalia Chairkina sees in these images a reflection of a vertical model of the universe logically divided into the Upper, Middle and Lower worlds (similar to the ‘trigram’ and ‘hexagram’ of the Chinese book ‘Classic of Change’) – which accommodate seven spheres of empty space. Archaeologist Peter Van Petersen of the National Museum of Denmark has suggested that the idol may have served as a warning at the border of a forbidden territory to scare off invaders or undesirables – or to test the courage of an individual or group. A number of Archaeological experts also note the similarity of design with the monumental stone ruins in Göbekli Tepe in Turkey (which is of a similar age). As many of the marking are both difficult to see and ambiguous in design – it is currently very difficult to produce a definitive interpretation. The best policy is for everyone to ‘look’ at this remarkable structure themselves – and up their own mind. Conventional science has already proven its improbable age! Let’s follow Lenin’s example and sit in our kitchens and ‘think’ great thoughts!

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