Kenny Smith Couldn't Lose Weight - So They Made His Clothes Bigger!

Email: Homeland’s “Kid” Problem & How Steve Laws’ Pen Fetish was Defeated with Rubber Dinghies! (8.6.2025)

B&Q Rubber Dinghies Purchased By the Homeland Party – Punctured and Left in a Dover Car-Park for Steve Laws to Find! He Thought They Belonged to Migrants – It Was the Only Way to Get Out the Office!

To: David Clews – United News Network (UNN)

From: Kenny Smith – Homeland Party

Hi Dave!

Kenny Smith here from Homeland. I wonder if I could have a minute of your valuable time – one Scot to another? I recently made this post on the Homeland Party Telegram page:

https://t.me/HomelandParty/2151

Big problem. I’m afraid I didn’t really think this through. It’s like alot of stuff we lift from the Telegraph – just cheap knee-jerk reaction nonsense.

Mindless Telegraph Drivel!
Mindless Telegraph Drivel!

I made the point that 1 out of 4 schools are “non-White” – but Mark Collett (not the sharpest tool in the box – but still a “tool” if you know what I mean) – pointed-out to Laura Towler that this still means 3 out of 4 schools are still “White”! What? This means a massive 75% of schools have no or little non-White children! You know how I like children – and the subject of children – well, I’ve certainly gone-off half-cocked on this one! In reality, I just do not know what the hell I’m talking about! Long story short – do you think I could come on your UNN show and explain myself? I won’t rage quit like Yerbury – or attempt to take you to court like Fanning! Furthermore, I do not agree with this rumour going around that you and Russelll T Davis are the same person. If you are – you certainly fucked-up Dr Who this time round!

Blessings

Kenny Smith

PS: Steve Laws has been diagnosed with Autism and we had to let him go. He kept lining-up all the pens in the office so they orientated “North(tip)-South(lid)”! It was a bloody nightmare in the end – he wouldn’t let use write anything! That’s how bad it got. I sent him to Dover to look at some deflated dinghies and that quietened him down for a bit. I think he filmed it. We had to purchase a few from B&Q, inflated the buggers, and then stuck knives in them before dumping the lot in a bloody car-park in god knows where – just to placate the knob. Laws thought he had located the “migrant stash” and forgot all about the pens! You can see what we were up against – the kid had to go.