Gordon the Gopher Quietly “Euthanised” By ITV Executives! (1.6.2023) 

HM Prisons has confirmed that where possible, siblings are housed together, and an insider has revealed that the cell of Timothy Schofield has been kept “clear” of a second occupant whilst the British judicial system awaits developments. Meanwhile, the Publicists who represent Philip Schofield have advised their client to “practice” sitting in a CGI cell as a means to “prepare” his mind and body for any eventuality. This action has been described as purely “routine” for anyone preparing to occupy severely constricted spaces.  

Book Review: The ‘Time’ Machine or the ‘Space’ Machine? Christopher Priest Takes the Easy Road!

One is left with the distinct impression that Priest truly believes that if his version HG Wells classics were published in the 1880s – well-bred young men would be masturbating everytime there is mention of Amelia’s exposed ankles- to the back drop of a Martian invasion of Earth and nutty Professors who have convinced themselves that their ‘Time’ machine (which is only secondarily a ‘Space’ machine) is ‘not quite there’ whilst it l supposedly lays shimmering in and out of material existence whilst inhabiting a study in Richmond! Those motoring goggles may well come in handy yet – and not necessarily for motor driving! As Priest penned this tome in 1976 – he was probably influenced by the highly successful British science fiction series of ‘Dr Who’ (that also possessed an advanced machine – the ‘TARDIS’ – which funnily enough could also travel in both ‘time’ and ‘space’) and was reaching its creative peak with the actor – Tom Baker – at the helm! More to the point, the ‘love’ scenes, if we can call them that, seem as if the author quickly threw the two Wells novels together, and then realised his caper was up if he did not attempt to go back and at certain random points in the story literally ‘insert’ obviously ‘out of place’ amorous interactions to act as a type Pythonesque ‘camouflage’ – in the hope that the distraction will draw the attention of the audience away from the fact that the book contains ‘zero’ originality and no genuine labour on his part! If anyone does happen to invent a genuine time machine, perhaps the top of any list might be the necessity to go back to 1976 and hide all the pens in the Priest household – and thus save humanity from a genuine catastrophe!

HG WELLS (1897): THE CRYSTAL EGG (21.11.2022)

There was, until a year ago, a little and very grimy-looking shop near Seven Dials, over which, in weather-worn yellow lettering, the name of “C. Cave, Naturalist and Dealer in Antiquities,” was inscribed. The contents of its window were curiously variegated. They comprised some elephant tusks and an imperfect set of chessmen, beads and weapons, a box of eyes, two skulls of tigers and one human, several moth-eaten stuffed monkeys (one holding a lamp), an old-fashioned cabinet, a flyblown ostrich egg or so, some fishing-tackle, and an extraordinarily dirty, empty glass fish-tank. There was also, at the moment the story begins, a mass of crystal, worked into the shape of an egg and brilliantly polished. And at that two people, who stood outside the window, were looking, one of them a tall, thin clergyman, the other a black-bearded young man of dusky complexion and unobtrusive costume. The dusky young man spoke with eager gesticulation, and seemed anxious for his companion to purchase the article.

Drawing a Line Under My Russian Special Operation Reporting! (4.4.2022) 

The reader will find below a ciphered telegram intercepted by the Soviet Government which exposes the real nature of the Rada and the real designs of the Military Missions of “our Allies” in the matter of peace. It will be seen from the telegram that something in the nature of an alliance has already been arranged between the French Mission and the Rada, and that “officials of the French Mission are working in direct contact with the Rada.” It will be seen from the telegram, further, that the purpose of this alliance is to “maintain the semblance of a Russian front until February or March and delay the definite conclusion of an armistice until the spring.” It will be seen from the telegram, lastly, that the French Mission has entered into “an agreement with the Cossack Assembly” (i.e., the Kaledin “government”) with the object of “supplying coal and food to the Rumanian and South-Western fronts” (which according to plan are to be taken over by the Rada — J. St.).

In short, there exists, it appears, an alliance of the Rada, Kaledin and the French Military Mission with the purpose of torpedoing peace, of “delaying” it “until the spring.” Furthermore the French Military Mission is not acting independently, but on “the urgent instructions of the French Government.”

We have no desire to dwell here on the conduct of the Military Missions of “our Allies.” Their role has been sufficiently elucidated: in August they helped Kor-nilov, in November they helped the Rada and Kaledin, in December they are supplying the rebels with armoured cars. And all this for the sake of “a war to a finish.” We do not doubt that the coercive undertaking of the “Allies” will be thwarted by the struggle of the peoples of Russia for a democratic peace. The missions are behaving as if they were in Central Africa. But the “Allies” will soon have cause to learn that Russia is not Central Africa. . . . What chiefly interests us here is the ugly role assumed by the Rada.

Now we know why the Rada is concentrating the Ukrainian units on the Rumanian-South-Western Front: “nationalization” of the army is a camouflage with which it is trying to conceal its compact with the French Mission to delay an armistice until the spring.

Now we know why the Rada is not permitting the passage of Soviet troops proceeding against Kaledin: “neutrality” vis-a-vis Kaledin is a camouflage with which it is trying to conceal its alliance with Kaledin against the Soviets.

Now we know why the Rada protests against the “interference” of the Council of People’s Commissars in Ukrainian internal affairs: talk of non-interference is only a camouflage with which it is trying to conceal the actual interference of the French Government in the affairs of the Ukraine and of all Russia, with the aim of liquidating the gains-of the revolution.

Ukrainian comrades frequently ask me. What is the Rada?

I reply :

The Rada, or rather its General Secretariat, is a government of traitors to socialism who call themselves Socialists in order to deceive the masses—just like the Government of Kerensky and Savinkov, who also called themselves Socialists.

The Rada, or rather its General Secretariat, is a bourgeois government which, in alliance with Kaledin, is fighting the Soviets. Formerly, the Kerensky Government, in alliance with Kornilov, disarmed the Soviets of Russia. Now the Rada Government, in alliance with Kaledin, is disarming the Soviets of the Ukraine.

The Rada, or rather its General Secretariat, is a bourgeois government which, in alliance with the British and French capitalists, is fighting to prevent peace. Formerly, the Kerensky Government delayed peace and condemned millions of soldiers to serve as cannon fodder. Now the Rada Government is endeavouring to prevent peace by “delaying an armistice until the spring.”

For this, the Kerensky Government was overthrown by the joint efforts of the workers and soldiers of Russia.

We do not doubt that the Rada Government will likewise be overthrown by the efforts of the workers and soldiers of the Ukraine.

Only a new Rada, a Rada of the Soviets of the workers, soldiers and peasants of the Ukraine, can protect the interests of the Ukrainian people from the Kaledins and Kornilovs, the landlords and capitalists.

People’s Commissar

J. Stalin

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