James Cameron: Netflix Biopic ‘Titan’! (22.6.2023)

A leaked source has suggested the title will be ‘Five Billion Dollars Beneath the Waves’ – whilst EMI are rumoured to be in negotiations with Ringo Starr regarding a ‘Special Re-Release’ of his ‘The Beatles’ hit single – ‘Yellow Submarine’! King Charles is said to have paid tribute by flushing a flower down one of the toilets of Buckingham Palace (facing West) – whilst the Daily Mirror has changed it’s lead head line from tributes ‘flood in’ – to tributes ‘roll in’! Yes, it’s hypocrisy aplenty!

Titan: Media Distraction a “Success”! (23.6.2023)

True to the spirit of Gay Pride – a homosexual ‘Admiral’ (in the ‘Navy’) was given the task of briefing the world media on the fate of 5 billionaires who attempted to Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea! It turns out that the ‘sounds’ purported heard over the last four-days of hope and failure stemmed not from a surviving crew trapped in the dark and cold depths – but rather the effect of ‘Sea Squirrels’ busily moving their nuts around the seabed in preparation for winter!