Tag: humour

Silversea - Animal Policy

Silversea Onboard Animal Policy – the “Elephant” in the Room – Plus Silversea Response! (21.3.2025)

I was enthralled to see a fine pair of elephants (good ivory – strong stature) featured on the Silversea online website – next to the description of the cruise-ship entertainment and various other distractions (including a breeding-pair of Polar Bears – I believe). May I take this opportunity to enquire as to what is the policy for animals being onboard? Although I am a little out-of-date, I am told the odd ship might possess a parrot to keep the children engaged – but am musing as to whether the new cruise-ships – being as spacious as they are – could also contain some type of Zoo? 

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Starmer Promises Investigation!

UK: Abused Bones of PG Tips Chimp – “Migrant Midget in Suit” – Study Finds! (15.3.2025)

Starmer has announced a new “vetting” service managed by Border Force – and staffed in co-ordination with London Zoo. “We live in troubling times for the UK tax-payer who has to not only fund Neo-Nazi Ukraine for next 100-years – but also the “genocide” committed by Zionist Israel. The second of those two tasks could arguably take even longer. To assist these two grand undertakings – Labour is determined to stamp-out illegal entry to the UK and will not tolerate migrants ‘disguised’ as animals acting in the advertisement industry as a legitimate point for Visa acquisition.”

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French Foreign Legion - Definitely NOT Fighting in Neo-Nazi Ukraine!

Hackman Latest: “March Or Die” – “Mummy IV” Cross-Over in Doubt! (6.3.2025)

It is believed that Betsy was summoned by an incomplete “bugle call” – that locals claim was suddenly “cut-short” at a key-point in the French martial (musical) arrangement – an oddity for the perfectionist Hackmen – an actor who redefined “Method Acting” by adopting a complete indifference to its protocols. “This is a total tragedy and loss of talent!” – Donald Trump. “Hackman knew how to deal with unwanted foreigners!” Elon Musk. The headquarters of the French Foreign Legion in France today – has lowered its flag to half mast!

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UK: Was “Topov” from Pipkins Meant to be “Chinese”? (1.3.2025)

Topov, according to the Sun, wears a “Maoist cap” – and speaks a type of London accent (commonly heard in Chinatown’s Gerrard Street) – but with a distinctive “Cantonese” twang. When the owners of the Copyright threatened to sue the Sun – the article was quietly withdrawn and a apology offered. The Editor of the Sun, however, stated that although he believes the information to be correct – the current “Woke” dominated environment means that the dark truth surrounding one particular an aspect of a much loved children’s TV classic can no longer be discussed in public.

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Ebony and Ivory!

An Ovis Aries Revolution! – My Contribution to “Unherd” – I Doubt It Will Be Printed! (31.1.2025)

Sheep are very sensitive animals. This includes goats and rams – not always the same thing. Under Labour, the manner in which sheep congregate together has subtly shifted. In the average flock today, the shepherds will tell you that their is a profound sense of fear seven-days a week – and not just on Market-Day – or when the “special” lorry arrives. The texture of the wool has diminished in quality – as has the production of milk and meat. As you know, sheep-milk is used to make a myriad of alternative dairy products – including niche cheese and yoghurt. Yes – such products cost a little more – but this reflects the greater extent of labour required to manufacture these products.

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