Titan: Media Distraction a “Success”! (23.6.2023)

True to the spirit of Gay Pride – a homosexual ‘Admiral’ (in the ‘Navy’) was given the task of briefing the world media on the fate of 5 billionaires who attempted to Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea! It turns out that the ‘sounds’ purported heard over the last four-days of hope and failure stemmed not from a surviving crew trapped in the dark and cold depths – but rather the effect of ‘Sea Squirrels’ busily moving their nuts around the seabed in preparation for winter!

Which Will Be Spotted First – Nessy or Titan? (22.6.2023) 

OceanGate has announced that whatever the outcome, a special DVD, Bluray and ‘On Demand’ (Streamed) edition of the best extracts covering the past 4 days coverage will soon be on sale – with the first 500 units sold signed by the ‘new’ corporate heads! This Special Edition comes in a luminous ‘sealed’ bag – water-tight to the depth of 4000 feet – the actual depth the Titan probably sank to (rendering those onboard into a ‘deceased’ state)! As I write – OceanGate script writers are busy (behind the scenes) attending to fact check whether Putin can be weaved into the equation! Stand by for those fire works!