Kyiv: JK Rowling Nationalist Battalion Announced! (5.4.2022)

President Zelensky took the opportunity during his recent appearance upon the Grammys (beamed ‘live’ across the US) to thank the American people for their ongoing support of the Ukrainian Neo-Nazi Regime – extending a special ‘thank you’ to the youth of America – which has flocked to the Nazi German flags that define and Inspire the numerous ‘Nationalist’ Battalions that have opposed the Russian-backed breakaway ‘Socialist’ Republics that have been illegally occupying the Donbass region of East Ukraine for the last eight-years! Indeed, as part of the general air of mutual respect and cooperation – Zelensky – announced the formation, arming and training of a new ‘JK Rowling Nationalist Battalion’ which will be immediately deployed in the Donbass region to police the population and fight the recent increase in sexual perversity linked with ‘gayness’, ‘transvestitism’ and ‘transgenderism’! JK Rowling – who has donated half of this year’s profit from the Harry Potter franchise to the Ukrainian Neo-Nazi cause – was sat in the audience at the time, and greeted the announcement with an outward display of gratitude and appreciation! She said ‘What can I say? We live in a crazy and topsy-turvy world where men pretend to be women and we are forced into accepting this! At least Hitler was clear about where he stood on this issue and so am I! Thank goodness the people of Ukraine are brave enough to embrace my creation of Harry Potter and still see a purpose for the thinking of Mr Hitler!’ The world famous author surprised here hordes of adoring fans in Kyiv by further announcing she is planning a Harry Potter ‘prequel’ which will see Harry travel back in time to 1930s Berlin – where Hitler sends Harry on a ‘Special Operation’ to infiltrate Stalin’s personal bodyguard! Although she refused to explain the entire planned story – Rowling hinted to her adoring ‘Maidan’ fans that this time around Harry ensures that there is a ‘happy ending’ to Stalingrad! The audience erupted into thunderous applause of straight-armed salutes with Rowling being happy that at last she was finally being listened to!

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